Before finding the pick-up community, knowing how to talk to girls at parties was a daunting task that tormented me throughout my early years in high school.
I was afraid to enter a friend’s house full of new and strange people, a situation that would freeze me like a deer caught in the headlights. I was the quietest, usually hiding in the corner of the couch, fiddling with my cell phone until it was time to leave.
I had no idea how to connect with the guys who were invited, so trying to flirt with girls was not even on my radar. A few drinks of liquid courage would relax me, but even so, my fussing tendencies culminated in me gathering with my closest friends instead of meeting new people.
But after studying gambling in recent years, and especially during my time at university, I realized that parties are not these incredibly harsh social labyrinths. In fact, parties are actually the easiest places to score, as long as you know how to play the game.
Focus on having a good time
Before you even cross the front door, making sure you have the right attitude at a party is the key.
If you come thinking that a party will stink, it is likely that it will. It is not the host’s fault that you are having a good time standing alone with your drink, it is your own negative attitude.
Countless times I’ve seen boys at parties sulking because they’re not having a good time. News of the last minute: you bring the fun, the fun does not reach you.
Another mentality to be tired of is focusing too much on sex and looking for girls. Lying down is the last thing you can think of because, for some boys, it causes them an “excess of play”, which makes them gain vines status.
Going to a party and hitting every girl in sight will blow you up so fast it will make your head spin. This is not a sweaty nightclub in Miami where everyone wants to get hooked, it’s a party with their peers, so attention should be focused on everyone having a good time.
Just having fun and maintaining that mentality will improve interactions with other guests as well as with any potential couple you meet.
Being the life of the party
This mindset focused on fun is useless without action. Therefore, whether it is a matter of a black tie or a fraternal country house, getting girls constantly at parties requires that you become the life of the party.
Unlike cold approaches or daytime games, the successful selection of women at parties will depend on your level of social testing among people who attend. If most guests harbor negative attitudes or no emotion towards you (even worse!), Do not expect the chocolate on the table to feel something different.
The key is to be sociable and make friends with everyone who is there, no matter what. You want people to laugh and have fun so that when you zoom in, you will already have a positive image of you in your mind because of all the fun you are having with the other guests.
One of my favorite ways to amplify the fun is by offering shots or starting to drink games, like kings or flipping the cup. Alcohol is, by far, the easiest way to get people involved in party mode, just do not overuse it.
Once you get everyone talking and moving, it’s time to do the rounds and shoot the shit with the other guests. By not relegating to a group, you can bring your fun and social atmosphere to the whole party, thus creating your positive social proof. If everyone laughs with you and has fun, you will be more likely to receive a warm reaction from a girl when you make that approach.
Even if a girl is shy and is sitting alone on the couch sending text messages, being the life of the party, will have freedom of action to make the approach and will make the interaction less uncomfortable. Your fun environment should be so obvious that you should make even the coldest person want to smile.
Another important aspect to consider is the type of party you are in because making barrels of beer in a luxury cocktail soiree will not turn out well.
The more “mature” parties require a subtle sociability, which means that you should concentrate more on witty jokes and simply on talking with others. The fights and parties at home are different beasts, so whenever you can make people have fun, playing and dancing is an advantage.
Regardless of the type of event you are in, becoming the life of the party is essential.
How to talk to girls at parties: the right way
Once you have established yourself as the life of the party, talking to a girl is the easy and fun part.
The opening can be as simple as “how do you know the host” or “wow, those shoes are beautiful”. It really does not matter how it opens up, as long as the focus of the interaction is having a fun moment. Just do not enter the climbing mode and hit every woman in the apartment.
With regard to flirting at parties, it can be quite direct or more subtle, depending on the type of party it is. If it is a higher category event, pay attention and use more witty jokes or jokes and playfully joke. For ragers and parties at home, you can go ahead and even be a bit sexual with your conversations, as long as you do not carry too far.
As always, kino and touch will play an important role, but because everyone knows or is connected through mutual friends, openly escalating physically will be counterproductive unless it is total delirium. A light touch along with a fun and flirty environment will do wonders.